Seahaven Private can help you or a loved one with addiction recovery. Our supportive and safe environment is the perfect place to achieve life-long health and wellbeing.
We will work with you and your family to
guide your loved one towards admitting the
problem and agreeing to get help.
Loving and Living with an Addict
Seahaven Private aspires to provide your loved one with the power and knowledge needed for their recovery journey. We aim to empower your loved one with the ability to understand the reasons behind their addiction and mental health challenges and to provide tools for them to address these issues.
Encouraging your loved one to get treatment
Living with an Addict
An addict is never alone in their addiction, it affects a lot of people around them. Family members and friends are often wrapped up in anxiety and fear for their loved one. Efforts made by their family and friends can often deepen the problem or support it unwittingly. First, we need to be able to see the warning signs that your loved one is struggling with addiction:
- Developing problems with cognition and memory
- Being lethargic, sleeping more, sleeping irregular hours, appearing unwell or tired
- Developing problems at work or school; possibly losing their job or dropping out of school
- Attending social events only if drugs or alcohol are available; becoming intoxicated before the social event; or attending fewer social events specifically to drink or use drugs
- Stealing money or valuables to pay for drugs
- Lying about the substance or how much they are using
- Becoming angry, sad, or lashing out when questioned about their substance abuse
- Experiencing withdrawal symptoms when they are unable to use the substances
- Neglected appearance and poor hygiene
Friends and family of an Addict
Friends and family are often left feeling that maybe if they changed in some way, their loved one would stop using, maybe if they spent more time with them, paid for their living expenses, drove them to and from their dealers/bottle shop so they were safe, that maybe this would change their addiction. Family and friends can often feel at fault and feel like they are the reason for their loved ones using. The truth is, neither you or your loved one can control or are in control of their addiction.
Enabling is a term used to describe friends and family of an addict who do things which make it comfortable for the addict to keep using. This can present itself in a multitude of different ways, from a mother who drives her son to pick up drugs anytime he needs to avoid him hitchhiking or stealing a car, to the grandparents that allow their granddaughter to live and do drugs in their spare room so they at least know she is safe.
These actions are intended to help and keep their loved one safe but end up allowing the addiction behaviour to continue.
An alternative to enabling is detachment with love. This means responding to our own needs while being caring and considerate of another’s needs. It means that we can be responsible to them, but not for them. As a result, we no longer shield people from the consequences of their behaviour (hazeldenbettyford.org).
Pathway to recovery
Step 1. Education
Educating your loved one about rehab will help ease their concerns on what rehab is really like (addictioncenter.com). Sharing success stories about others who have gone through rehab will help them to realise that they could also be successful through rehab. Letting them know what an actual day in rehab looks like will help them see themselves in the situation. Let them know that rehab is not just sitting around talking about your feelings all day, that it involves fun activities like paddle boarding, fishing, and cooking.
Rehab will teach them about the negative health effects of their addiction. If they do not see their use as abnormal or damaging, they are not likely to agree to rehab. Check out our pages relating to the effects of different drug and alcohol addiction for further signs and symptoms.
Step 2. Make it seem like it is their decision to go
Make sure never to push or force them to go to rehab. Check in with them about how the feel about rehab and ask open ended questions. Some examples of questions you could ask are:
- How are they feeling about their use?
- What do they want for their future?
- How happy are they with their life right now?
- How do they feel about rehab?
- What changes do they need to make to have the life they want?
Listen to each answer with an open mind and always be supportive. This could be quite emotional and regardless of how they feel about going to rehab in the moment, remain calm, give comfort and be supportive. They may need time to really think about rehab and let the idea resonate with them.
Step 3. Be honest
Be open and honest in your conversation with your loved one. Let them know how you feel, how their behaviour is affecting you and your thinking patterns. Be kind and show compassion and love always. Tell them you think rehab would be beneficial and that you just want what is best for them in the long run (addictioncenter.com). If you never tell them about your feelings and thoughts, they may not think you care. Do not place blame, remain calm and bring all your care, love, and honesty together to help form decision on treatment and rehab.
Step 4. Hold an intervention
If your loved one is still refusing to go to treatment, an intervention may be necessary. Interventions involve the addicts closest friends and family coming together to talk to them about going to rehab. Each person lets them know how their using has affected them negatively while letting them know how much they love and care for them and that they simply want the best for them. Finding an Interventionist can be very helpful as they have experience and can structure the intervention to get the best results. The goal of the intervention is to have the addict agree to go to rehab. After the intervention, going to rehab will be immediate, you do not want to wait and give them a chance to change their mind.
We will work with you and your family to guide your loved one towards admitting the problem and agreeing to get help.
How does it work?
Many people believe that someone caught up in active addiction or compulsive and destructive behaviours will not seek help until they have hit rock bottom. Waiting for such a crisis can be dangerous. Seek help for a loved one today.
We are here for you to support your loved one to get help.
Looking for Addiction Rehabilitation Support?
If you or a loved one are suffering from addiction, let Seahaven guide you to a place of safety, sanctuary, a refuge from the turmoil of addiction and substance abuse.
We are here to help.
Contact Us Today
The Plan begins with an initial phone consultation so we can begin to understand your situation and how you are living with an addict. You will receive information to assist you and your family understand the process. Living with an addict can changed.